I just received quite possibly the best Christmas present this year, hands down:

I got a B in American Lit I !!!!

This is truly amazing! I would just like to thank Matt Groening, Homer Simpson, Edgar Allan Poe, and the makers of my car for getting me to class every morning, even though sometimes I was a little late. Also, I would like to thank the Union Pacific Railroad for allowing me to have one extra credit assignment this semester.

Thank you. I am truly honored.