This entry is WAY random. Take it or leave it. At least I fulfill my promises.

Sometimes you just want everything to stop, everyone to freeze-frame so you can grab your script of life and re-write things,....
I would write myself directly into another state right now. And I'm not talking state of mind, I'm talking state of life...There are just people you only want to be around sometimes and things you only want to be said. I mean, it's like you can't figure out sometimes why what you're saying to people isn't sinking in. They're not hearing you...it's like you're talking and it doesn't even matter. Everyone. You want to stop them in time and implant everything you said into their mind as a truth. So that they just know what you mean, and it's real.
I want to leave Evansville so badly right now. I want to get out of here and try something new, but this summer I'm probably stuck here. To work away 4 months and I guess save money and all that crap. Blah...but if I could leave tomorrow I would. I'm going to be saying that from now until January. And my parents keep saying, "But what if you don't get accepted? What is your other plan?" Oh man, that means I have to wait until I graduate to get out of here, unless I just transferred to another school, which I don't really want to do. But....back to the freeze-frame idea...
So I go into the scenes of my life and re-set them, or erase them, or something. I mean, not that I have regrets, I guess I just would write the new ones the way I want them to work out. You can't control most things in your life, but you can set it up for optimum performance (like a .....car??). I've been watching waaaaaaaay too much My So-Called Life.
You just have to be happy with what you have, you have to make the best of it. You can't live your life hating every minute. You can't live your life hating yourself or the way things are working out. You just have to play the scene out, until it's over. What else can you do? Making yourself miserable isn't going to help. Just gotta deal with it. That's life.