This is what happens after an enjoyable week of vacation:

Monday 3am: Awaken to the sound of water dripping. Put towel along window sill to catch water. Light bulb on night-stand burns out. Replace.

3:05am: Vent on ceiling begins dripping. Move TV, place pot under drips.

3:07am: Dusty and Kim agree to move bed and matress before ceiling fan begins dripping.

3:09am: Ceiling fan begins pouring like a faucet. Run to get kitchen trash can, and all but three towels in the entire apartment.

3:15am: Put put blankets and pillows on mattress in living room, sleep.

3:45am: Still hearing dripping, Kim and Dusty go to check on drips, to find window sill towel completely soaking wet. Replace with dry towel and cups.

Monday 10:00am: Wake up to pee, knock over full-length mirror in bathroom and shatter into ten million pieces. Total approximate water collected in cups, pots, and trash cans: seven gallons.

10:30am Call friend to find home for Dexter.

1:30pm: Take Dexter to friend's house, make call to landlord.

6:30pm: No assistance ever received, pick up Dexter.

Tuesday 8am: Take Dexter to friend's house again. Make second call to landlord.

8:20am: Noticing oil light came on in car on the way home from friend's, we check the engine once we park at our complex. Oil cap is not on oil tank, but laying beside it. Entire engine is covered with oil. During last oil change (8 days prior, and approximately 300 miles later) oil cap was not replaced. Begin to wonder what I did wrong.

3pm: Dude shows up who is not a maintenace guy, but a painter. We do not need paint. Dude proceeds to talk to us about absolutely nothing for 30 minutes, including how he was in retail at a grocery store for twenty years. Racial comments included as a bonus.

3:30pm: Other Dude shows up to tell us the roof is fixed. We ask other dude to fix the bathroom sink, which has been stopped-up for over a month. Other racial comments included by this dude, too.

3:32pm: Other Dude breaks one glass top to end table in living room, and chips the other. Apologizes but does not offer to reimburse. He then fixes the sink and leaves.